I met with Jarrod earlier this week to go over goals and try to start to develop a plan as to how I’m going to get there. The goals on my “Goals” page were way too Crossfit-only oriented. Those are definitely milestones that I’d like to achieve in my Crossfit life, but he also challenged me to think about what kind of life I wanted. I want a healthy, full life. Not exactly the lift I was living before Crossfit where I was sedentary and over weight (to be clear, I still have weight loss goals). To that end, I put together some long, mid, and short term goals.
Long Term Goals (2 years): Live a healthy, full life.
Mid Term Goals (Year): Get to a healthy body weight; Be able to do workouts Rx (or at least all the movements that are thrown at us)
Short Term Goals (3-6 months): Rehab my body, get a handle on my nutrition
So, next three months is to get my body back in fighting shape by rehabilitating it and keeping consistent about my nutrition. The ways I’m going to do this is:
- Finish Whole 30
- Stay No Bread after Whole 30
- Workout consistently and pay attention to when my body needs rest
- Work with coaches to modify my workouts to not re-injure myself
- Strength and mobility private sessions with Jarrod
- Surround myself with people who support me and use the proper resources I have
And finally, while it seems simple – it’s probably the hardest task given my injuries and the ways that I have to go:
- Stay positive
And that last task segue ways nicely into what happened today in Open Gym. Last night I went to dinner with some of the gals from the gym to Fogo de Chao, an amazing Brazilian Churrascaria (steakhouse) in downtown Boston. Over delicious slabs of meat, one of the topics that came up was my 205# backsquat and how I was contemplating retesting to see if I could get 210# or higher. I had decided that my legs were a bit shredded from the week and would likely not – but would go to Open Gym to support whomever was re-testing.
I ambled into Open Gym without a plan and found that Susie Diesel and Gienah were going to try to re-test their backsquat. It didn’t take much arm twisting, and before I knew it, I was working up to my 1RM with the gals. As we were working up (very similarly to the rep scheme I used a couple of days ago). We got to 165#x2 round and it felt really heavy. My hips and glutes felt really tight. I did not feel confident going into the heavier reps. I did a squat at 185# and it was so hard to get up. Then we went up to 200#. I wasn’t feeling it. I knew I couldn’t do it. My legs were toast. 185# was hard. I thought, “I’m done, I’ll just do this attempt and be happy that I got 205# earlier this week.” Went to the bar, quickly racked it, went down into my squat, and immediately had Jack (my spotter) help me up. As Jack went to help me, Jarrod (who was doing some mobility on the floor nearby) looked at me and yelled “Asshole!” and looked pretty irritated with me. I went over to him and he was giving me “the look” that I’ve seen him give his kid, Leif. It’s a scary look. It’s been known to send Leif into tears at just the thought of it. He said (I’m paraphrasing, as I don’t remember the exact words):
“I knew you were going to fail that rep the moment you walked towards the bar. You had a shitty attitude. You told yourself you were going to fail. You were being an asshole and not respecting the bar. I want to see you walk to the bar and know that you’re going to lift that shit up. Also, don’t give up before you even try. I want to see you screaming as you try to get that weight up. I want to see that you’ve given it everything you can before you fail. You don’t decide to fail. You simply fail. But you made the decision to fail before you even picked up the bar. Don’t be an asshole.”
It was the slap in the face I needed. Don’t be an asshole. You don’t decide to fail. I was determined to make that bar my bitch. I tried to 200# again and down-up. No problem. I decided to skip 205# and jump straight away to 210#. I approached the bar. I stared at it and mentally called it my bitch. I knew I was going to make this lift. I stared straight ahead, racked it on my back, took some quick breaths, then a deep breath and went down into my squat. I pushed back up and started to falter a little. But I kept on saying “Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be an asshole!” and pushed really hard to get out of the pocket. I gave it everything I had and finally stood up. New PR at 210#! I didn’t choose to fail. It was awesome. That’w why I changed my task to “Stay positive. Don’t be an asshole.” Don’t be an asshole and sabotage yourself.
Sara McEvoy had some a timely post today in a new feature on her blog called “Habits of Happiness”. The post was titled “Create Positive Internal Energy” and I’d encourage anyone who reads this blog to check it out.